Summary of 'How to Win friends and Influence people' by Dale Carnegie

I recently finished reading a masterpiece by Dale Carnegie - 'How to Win friends and Influence people'. This 1936 self-help book has never been out of touch for the current reality since last 8 decades. Sale of more than 30 million copies speaks volume in itself, this masterpiece has secured its place in 'top 100 books of all time' in more than one occasions. Here I am going to summaries the major lessons which I came across while reading it. These points can act as ready reckoner for someone who doesn't have time to read the book in it entirety or for someone who faces dilemma while taking a decision:

1. Don't criticise, condemn or complain
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
6. 'Smile' most of the time.
7. Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in term of the other person's interest.
9. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
10. The only way to get best of an argument is to avoid it.
11. Show respect for other person's opinion. Never say, "You are wrong".
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
13. Let the other person do a great deal of talking.
14. Begin in a friendly way.
15. Get the other person saying 'yes yes' immediately.
16. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
17. Try honestly to see things from other person's point of view.
18. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
20. Dramatise your ideas - it works in movies, theatre and office, literally everywhere.
21. Throw down a challenge.
22. Begin with the praise and honest appreciation.
23. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be 'hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise'.
24. Call attention to people's mistake indirectly.
25. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
26. Make the other person happy about doing the things you suggest.
27. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
28. Let the other person save face.
29. Use encouragement, make the fault seem easy to correct.
30. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
    

Why every Indian 'reader' should write UPSC CSE at least once in lifetime?

Today I am going to illustrate the case why everyone in India who likes to read ( voracious or not-so-voracious) and is eligible to write, should made his/her hands dirty by writing the UPSC civil services exams at least once in his or her life time - 

If you love to read, more often than not - you would have an inclination towards a specific genre. You might just be reading the crime fiction, or only the romantic novels. Or you may only be deep dwelling in the self-help books. Few people only read about the personal finance books while completely ignoring the macro economics. We often are too averse to switch to something that is new or something that we probably won't enjoy reading. For someone who is totally into mystery literature, geography could just be limited to earth, water and air. For those who only enjoy reading history literature, they might not know the importance of understanding economics or the personal finance for that matter. Someone who just enjoys thrillers, picking a book related to our environment could turn out into a sleeping dose. For someone who reads only horror or satire, putting the efforts to understand law of our land could be too mundane a task without realising that the basic knowledge of IPC or CrPC may save him life in many circumstances. For the ones who are personal finance buffs, they might not know that the understanding of UNFCCC and Paris Climate Change agreement can help them add their next diamond stock in their portfolio. For few of us, who prefer reading only about self-improvement books, we may not realise the importance that knowing the geopolitical happenings and the trends of right wing governments capturing powers in most of the larger economies, may assist us choose our next career or our next destination. For those who aspire to be good managers and good leaders and have been reading about Steve Jobs, Warren Buffets and Nelson Mandelas, they may not realise that knowing about Indus-valley civilisation, Chengiz khan, Napoleon Bonaparte, Lord Buddha and Chandra Gupta Morya may give them the unforgettable lessons about the leadership skills and also about the dos and don'ts for those aspiring to be future leaders. I can go on and on about the cons for many of us who are ‘not-so-diverse’ readers. One would never know the ecstasy and bliss which he or she might be missing by not venturing into new territories. If we do only one type of exercise everyday in our workout, we can never develop the full body shape that we aspire to build, reading only one genre of books is analogous to hitting only one body part in every gym session. Just like one body part exercise will never help you build the entire body muscles, reading only one form of books will never contribute in your overall mental development.

Now the question arises how one would expand the horizon of his reading habits. It is scarce that one would enjoy reading a subject until one is oblivious about the basics of that subject. It is an inveterate human nature to be in comfort zone with a nonchalant behaviour. Getting out of comfort zone is what is needed if one wants to see earth from sky rather than seeing sky from earth. Our views are most likely to be myopic if we cannot see life and the larger world from the eye-in-the-sky view.

 To get the holistic understanding of the world, the easiest thing one can do is to fill the next UPSC civil services form and start reading basis the syllabus. It is most likely that you would not be able to read the genre of your liking while you are in the study mode for UPSC. But I can assure you that once you come out of the preparation mode, either selected or not selected, you would find that your reading horizon has expanded to the next level altogether. You would start enjoying all kind of reads without little discrimination. Only then you would see the world from the eye-in-the-sky and would realise what you were missing throughout your reading lifespan.